Healing takes Courage

Healing takes courage


Hello friends I hope you are all well and happy.

A few days ago my life got turned completely upside down when a very kind man with a concerned look on his face gently put a hand on my shoulder, looked into my eyes and said “I’m sorry but you have cancer”.   He said lots of other things too, he explained a lot and I understood every word he said but somehow I couldn’t take any of it in.  I just wasn’t expecting him to say that, after I heard the word  cancer my mind just went into freefall and I couldn’t even think what questions to ask.

Physically I feel fine apart from a problem in my mouth.  I thought I had an abscess under one of my teeth so I went to the dentist and was put on antibiotics. They didn’t work and the swelling got bigger.  All in all I took four lots of antibiotics and it just got bigger although strangely it just felt uncomfortable and not painful.  The antibiotics made me feel awful too.  Finally I was referred to the hospital and my first appointment was for last Wednesday, but I panicked a bit and by going to A&E and asking them to check it I managed to get the appointment brought forward by a week.  The doctor I saw was very reassuring he said “it looks quite alarming but I don’t think it’s cancer”.  He did take a biopsy, just to make sure, and told me to come back on Wednesday of this week when he hoped he would have the results.

So I had a relatively stress-free week, I thought I would need surgery to have the lump removed and I knew I would lose several teeth when that was done, but afterwards I’d be getting back to normal and eventually wearing dentures. I’d get used to that…

So this Wednesday when T and I went back to the hospital we were fairly upbeat and positive and I was hoping to find out when the surgery could be done.  Then this Exocet missile came out of no-where and everything changed.   I have large b cell lymphoma and that has caused the tumour in my mouth.  I had blood tests last Thursday and I am having a CT Scan next Friday because it’s likely I have the cancer in other parts of my body too and they need to know the full extent before deciding on the course of treatment. On the following Monday I am seeing someone in the haematology department who will tell me the score.  And so my journey begins…

We are both trying to be positive and to prepare ourselves for whatever happens next, but our emotions are all over the place at the moment.

So, if you could send some love and hugs and positive energy my way I’d be ever so grateful.

Big love AJ 🙂


PS the image above is from a new journal I have started.


© Janette Gregson and ajsartjournal, 2014 unless otherwise stated. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Janette Gregson and ajsartjournal with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.