Weary…

You got this, Keep going

Hello friends

I hope all is good with you, I am doing fine, but I am really weary.

I had my second round of chemo 4 days ago and it has surprised me just how extremely tired I felt afterwards.  It is pretty tiring just sitting in a reclining chair for 7 hours while various drugs are dripped into my system, but let’s be honest many people have to endure far worse things than that and it’s all for my own good.  I knew that chemo would make me tired but after the first round I was OK until I stopped taking the steroids but this time the fatique hit me almost straight away.  So I’ve been doing lots of resting.  I spent most of Friday (the first day after the chemo) just wrapped up on the sofa, either sleeping or watching tv.  On Saturday I ventured out for a walk in the town and tried to do some shopping, but by the time I got home I was shattered.  Later my brother and his wife, Mu, who came over from France for the weekend, came to visit me.  It was lovely to see them and we had a good chat.  They gave me some really lovely hand and moisturising cream which is good because I’ve also been told that chemo dries out the skin.  After they left I spent the rest of the day resting.

Yesterday we all had lunch at my parents house, that is Mum & Dad, Mike & Mu (from France), Dave and Jen (my other brother and sister-in-law) and T and me.  Mum did a good job of creating roast dinner for 8 especially as 4 of us don’t eat meat and we had to have something different from the rest.  Mum never thinks her dinners are good enough, (but honestly Mum it was good and) all the plates were empty by the end of the meal.  I was so exhausted though I didn’t really participate too well in the socialising, but I think they all understood.

Today I’ve been feeling a bit better but I stayed off work to have more rest.  I did go for a short walk this afternoon because it was cold, but dry and sunny and I felt like I needed to move my legs and later I did a bit of easy sorting out of papers.  I’m not sure how it will be tomorrow as I’ve no more steroids to take so I may be even more fatigued, but I’ll just have to wait and see how I feel when I get up.  I would like to get back to work before the end of the week though if I can.

The good news is I haven’t felt ill just tired and a few other minor side effects but nothing serious.  Being tired means you have to rest and that’s all right. It does mean that there are lot’s things that are not getting done, but that’s OK too – apart from the Christmas shopping which is beginning to cause me some anxiety.

So rest is good and sometimes it helps to quiet everything down and just centre on the moment.  That happens mostly for me when I just sit and doodle in my journal.  This Warrior Women journal is really special to me it’s really helping me focus on how I can best look after myself and learn from this journey.

The image above is from the warrior women journal and I currently have about the same amount of hair as the girl in the picture.  My hair came out really fast but I’ve been left with a very thin layer of stubble, maybe that will come out this week?  Do you know what? Even having no hair isn’t as bad as I thought it would be, it’s just strange, a new experience, not exactly fun yet, but I’m working on that 😉

The quote says “Sometimes the strength within you is not a big fiery flame for all to see, it is just a tiny spark that whispers ever so softly “You got this, keep going'”

I hope all is good and wonderful in your part of the world.

Big love

AJ xxx

 

 

© Janette Gregson and ajsartjournal, 2014 unless otherwise stated. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Janette Gregson and ajsartjournal with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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