Embrace the Glorious Mess that you are

 

 

Glorious Mess

Hello friends

I hope all is well with you, I’m doing fine.

It’s been a while so I thought I should update my blog.  Here is another page from my Warrior Women journal.  I am learning acceptance – sometimes you don’t need to put up a ferocious fight in order to overcome life’s difficulties, sometimes you just need to accept things as they are.

Acceptance looks like a passive state, but in reality it brings something entirely new into this world. That peace, a subtle energy vibration, is consciousness.

 

After round 1 of chemo I didn’t feel too bad, nowhere near as good as I felt before it, but nevertheless not too bad.  I even went to work the next day but I didn’t get there until 11am and everyone was out of the office and I had nothing to do so I left again at 3pm. Still at least I made the effort.

I had medication to take in the week following the chemo to help with the side-effects.  The side effects I was aware of were nausea (but I had tablets for that), tiredness, aching legs and everything tasted strange but I certainly did not feel ill.

I had enough steroids to last me 5 days and then on day 6 which was last Wednesday I felt like I’d been hit by a truck. I actually got up early and started getting ready for work, but everything was a struggle, and after I found myself just lying on the sofa for half an hour I realised I couldn’t go into work. I phoned in and told my boss I needed to take sick leave and went back to bed where I stayed all day.  I did get up at about 4pm, had a bath, put clean pyjamas on and went back to bed.  Finally got up at 8pm and watched tv for a couple of hours.  I took the next day off work too and went back in on Friday.

Over the weekend I was OK and we took Mum and Dad out to lunch on Sunday, by that I mean that I drove but in fact they treated us to the lunch.  I ate far too much and my stomach was uncomfortable afterwards.

I’ve been back at work this week and on Tuesday evening I went to a Remembrance Day service held in the chapel in the cemetery.  My house is actually in the cemetery so I only had a short distance to walk.  I saw a lot of my friends from the local history group there but I didn’t stay long after it finished because I felt very tired.  Yesterday I was also struggling with tiredness and today I’ve phoned in sick again because I just don’t have the energy to do much at all.  I think my hair is beginning to fall out now too and my scalp feels uncomfortable 😦

I went to see the ‘wig’ lady the other day, but I really don’t know if I want to wear a wig, a couple have been ordered on approval but I did tell her that I’d have to have T with me when I went to see them because he will tell me honestly if they look terrible.  I’ve a feeling that wearing a wig all day will be uncomfortable too and I just don’t think they look realistic. Well not the ones I can afford anyway.  I’ve got head scarves and hats ready for when I need them.

Next week I have to see the consultant haematologist on Wednesday and then on Thursday all day at the chemo suite for round 2 – ding, ding!

So that’s where I am at the moment, I feel like I’m doing OK just wish I had a bit more energy but we can’t always have what we want can we and I know I am luckier than many people so I’m not complaining.

Wishing you good health and happiness my friends

Big love

AJ 🙂

xxx
© Janette Gregson and ajsartjournal, 2014 unless otherwise stated. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Janette Gregson and ajsartjournal with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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8 thoughts on “Embrace the Glorious Mess that you are

  1. That lack of energy is what hit me the hardest I think. Some days I just could barely brush my teeth. The side effects are often cumulative so they just keep getting piled on. Just do whatever you need to do for you. Yes, some wigs look awful – look into henna tattoos once your hair is all gone, or shave your head. Henna tattoos look awesome! Granted they only last a couple of weeks, but still, it’s better than a wig. I never got bald enough this last time to do it, but now that I’m going to be getting whole brain radiation, I could lose all my hair again. And so it goes. Stay strong!

  2. I am sorry the chemo is taking its toll and I am glad you are listening to your body and taking time to recuperate. You strike me as a positive and determined person and hopefully that spirit helps you through this difficult time. I love your Warrior Woman page. Those earthy colours really appeal to me. I love your distinctive style and the strong use of black and white.

  3. A friend really embraced the wig thing – she knew everyone would know it wasn’t real, so she got a blonde curly one (her hair was dark and straight), and a pink one! It was fun and made everyone, including her, smile!

    You already know how much I love this page from Artstronauts …. 😀

  4. Thanks for the update. I’m sure no one expects the chemo stage to be easy. Strange that it took several days for the effects to kick in. I love Rosie’s friend’s idea of a blonde curly wig! I hope that, behind all this chemo stuff, positive changes are taking place within your body. Thinking of you. Keep on being strong. And I love your journal page. x

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