Healing takes Courage

Healing takes courage

 

Hello friends I hope you are all well and happy.

A few days ago my life got turned completely upside down when a very kind man with a concerned look on his face gently put a hand on my shoulder, looked into my eyes and said “I’m sorry but you have cancer”.   He said lots of other things too, he explained a lot and I understood every word he said but somehow I couldn’t take any of it in.  I just wasn’t expecting him to say that, after I heard the word  cancer my mind just went into freefall and I couldn’t even think what questions to ask.

Physically I feel fine apart from a problem in my mouth.  I thought I had an abscess under one of my teeth so I went to the dentist and was put on antibiotics. They didn’t work and the swelling got bigger.  All in all I took four lots of antibiotics and it just got bigger although strangely it just felt uncomfortable and not painful.  The antibiotics made me feel awful too.  Finally I was referred to the hospital and my first appointment was for last Wednesday, but I panicked a bit and by going to A&E and asking them to check it I managed to get the appointment brought forward by a week.  The doctor I saw was very reassuring he said “it looks quite alarming but I don’t think it’s cancer”.  He did take a biopsy, just to make sure, and told me to come back on Wednesday of this week when he hoped he would have the results.

So I had a relatively stress-free week, I thought I would need surgery to have the lump removed and I knew I would lose several teeth when that was done, but afterwards I’d be getting back to normal and eventually wearing dentures. I’d get used to that…

So this Wednesday when T and I went back to the hospital we were fairly upbeat and positive and I was hoping to find out when the surgery could be done.  Then this Exocet missile came out of no-where and everything changed.   I have large b cell lymphoma and that has caused the tumour in my mouth.  I had blood tests last Thursday and I am having a CT Scan next Friday because it’s likely I have the cancer in other parts of my body too and they need to know the full extent before deciding on the course of treatment. On the following Monday I am seeing someone in the haematology department who will tell me the score.  And so my journey begins…

We are both trying to be positive and to prepare ourselves for whatever happens next, but our emotions are all over the place at the moment.

So, if you could send some love and hugs and positive energy my way I’d be ever so grateful.

Big love AJ 🙂

 

PS the image above is from a new journal I have started.

 

© Janette Gregson and ajsartjournal, 2014 unless otherwise stated. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Janette Gregson and ajsartjournal with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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48 thoughts on “Healing takes Courage

  1. Oh my goodness! What terribly awful news. I very much hope that it has been identified early and that whatever treatment regime is settled upon rids your body of the cancer. I am wishing you the very best of luck in beating this. Hugs.

  2. So very sorry. You have a lot of people in your corner fighting right along with you. Your beautiful art reflects your inner beauty. Thank you for sharing your gifts with us. I so enjoy it way over here in soon-to-be frigid Minnesota. May God be with you and protect you.

  3. So sorry to hear the news, praying for you to be healed, to be brave and that you will be able to have peace of mind as you begin this journey. Hoping you will be able to continue to do the things in your life that give you joy. Hugs…peace and grace to you, Janette.

  4. Janette, I’m sorry to hear of this challenge happening in your life just now. You may want to check out this blog: http://gracefulwomanwarrior.com/ This woman has been living with the ups and downs of Stage 4 breast cancer for some time. I chanced upon her blog through a post on her dad’s blog. (he’s an author I admire very much). Anyway, I have found much inspiration and much to think about in this blog. She has the sort of courage I hope I would have in such a situation. I hope there is something there for you, too. I’ll keep you in my thoughts and prayers as you go forward with this. Big hugs to you. ~ Linne

  5. Your art and blog have been an inspiration to me. You will prevail. You will fight, and your courage will inspire others. I wish you all the best, and am sending you prayers and positive thoughts, and whatever else you need. Thank you for your courageous example.

  6. Dear Janette,

    I was so sorry to read in your post that you have been diagnosed with cancer. The news must have been devastating for you and your loved ones. Don’t despair; there’s so much that can be done nowadays. Will be thinking of you in the days ahead and praying that the cancer will be limited and respond well to therapy.

    Take Care,

    Diane Jarvis.

    Ps. Really love your artwork. It is an inspiration!

    Sent from Windows Mail

  7. I would like to thank all of you for being so supportive, I am feeling the love coming my way. I’ve been feeling more positive today. I went to see my local doctor to see if there was any way to speed things up, but she said “I know it’s excruciating for you having to wait for things to happen but honestly things are moving fast, normally you would have to wait 3 to 4 weeks for a scan and you have yours in a less than a week and an appointment with the consultant a week today, in the NHS things don’t normally move this fast”. So that made me feel a bit better. Also tomorrow I am hoping to get to speak to the cancer specialist nurse who will be looking after me and I think I will feel better knowing there is someone there to support me. If I am up to it I will update you all on Monday after the meeting with the consultant when hopefully a treatment plan will be in place and I can stop waiting and start fighting. Lots and lots of love to all of you

  8. I am praying for you. It may not be a whole lot, but I know that my Jesus loves you so very much.
    There are things that humans cannot do that only the Lord can. This hurts my heart and to have you reach out is very touching. Thank you for sharing and I needed you to share. I don’t know you, but we love you and we will continue to love you and praying you through this.

  9. sending lots of love and light…that must be so hard to hear. I hope powerful solutions come your way and that the journey is enlightening and ultimately empowering and life changing for the better. I went through major chronic illness this year and learned more than ever about how to truly take care of the body.
    Two things that may be helpful to you that I will just put out there. One is a book called “The Healing Code” and the other is building the bio terrain of the body. Often times, there are bio terrain specialists in your area and it can easily be an adjunct to whatever treatment you choose. However, I trust that you’ll know what to do and will be led in all the right directions….lots of love, light and courage

  10. I have just found your beautiful art journaling blog and was very saddened to read about your cancer. I am a survivor myself so I understand how scared you must be and nothing anyone says to you now will make sense or be helpful. Just know that you are in the best hands with your doctors and they will do all they can for you. I will keep you in my thoughts as you go through this and wish you well on the road to recovery.
    Thank you for sharing your beautiful art. I loved spending time looking through your blog. You are indeed very talented.

    • Thank you so much for your message, I am happy you are a survivor, I’m planning to be a survivor too, but for now I just have to be patient and wait until the experts can find out exactly what and where it is and how it will be treated. I’m just rallying the troops and preparing all my battle gear. I’ve started following your blog, I love it’s title it made me smile 🙂 Big love from me ❤

  11. Hello Janette,

    I’m SO sorry to hear your dreadful news. I can only imagine how anxious and frightened you must be feeling. But things are happening, and quickly judging by your latest comment above. So I hope everything has been caught soon enough and that the treatment will be swift and 100% successful.

    I want to recommend a couple of books to you. The first is Louise L Hay: You Can Heal Your Life. If you read her autobiography chapter you’ll see that she did in fact turn around her own cancer, and very quickly. Perhaps you already know this book – it’s a classic. The next one is Shad Helmstetter: What To Say When You Talk To Yourself. The essence of this is that you can programme your subconscious to work for you instead of against you. Normally this is about habits that are getting in the way of our success, but you could apply the same to tumours by devising a set of sentences that you repeat over and over to yourself each day until in the end your subconscious has got the message and takes these thoughts to be its truth. So ‘I am becoming stronger and healthier every day’, ‘The cancer in my body is reducing, it is losing its hold on my body’, and towards the end of your treatments change these to ‘I am strong and healthy. My body has won the battle against the cancer.’ I mean these are just ideas off the top of my head. You would change them to something more meaningful for you. The important thing is that they have to be in the present tense. You probably already knew that.

    Good luck, Janette. Keep fighting. Make sure you win. I will ask my group in Ventnor to send healing energy to you tomorrow. Expect a big whack of energy around 8.45pm! Lots of love. x

  12. I was just browsing in the reader and noticed your drawings, they are realy cool, i’m so sorry to read about the battle you’re about to face and i hope with all my heart that you win it.

    With kind regards and the best of luck,

    I will be following your blog for updates and support,

    Tim

  13. Pingback: Feeling loved and grateful :-) | AJ's Art Journaling

  14. My goodness, I’ve been away from blog world and just caught up on your last few months, what a journey! Your warrior women are incredible. The power they’re mustering along with your f&fs and your own strength of spirit seem to be supporting u well. I wish u all the best my friend xx

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